Antique Grandfather Clocks: Why Bother?

Even antique dealers think that antique grandfather clocks are highly overrated. For one thing, they take up so much space in the shop and usually just gather dist instead of customers. However, every antique shop seems to have to legally have at least two in their shops in order to stay in business. And if it's not in the law books, they act as if it is, anyway.

What's The Big Deal?

They are there because people expect them to be there – not because they want to actually buy an antique grandfather clock. It seems to be that you are not taken seriously as an antiques dealer unless you have a working antique grandfather clock in your shop. As there are many more types of clocks considered antiques, there are usually a whole ticking parade to accompany you as you go around the shop.

And have you ever tried talking to the antiques shop owner when there are antique grandfather clocks echoing antique mantel clocks in a small shop? They don’t hear you. It is no coincidence that a stereotypical antiques shop owner is deaf. It's all of that darn ticking from the clocks that drove them insane and made them stuff their ears.

The Ruined Vacation

My family had been looking forward to this one particular vacation to Florida for about as long as I was alive. Not only would we get to go to Walt Disney World, but we would finally visit all of our Florida relatives. To offset some of the costs, one of our relatives graciously opened up her home for us to stay.

She had an antique grandfather clock. And she was a bit deaf. You could hear the ticking of that antique grandfather clock all throughout the house, no matter what floor you were on. And it chimed every fifteen minutes like a miniature Big Ben. I don’t think I slept for a week. That part of the vacation has gone by me like a headache-stained blur.

Fortunately, my Mom caught me in mid-stride armed with an umbrella racing towards my Aunt's antique grandfather clock. Otherwise, I might still be in jail. You can get out of jail on parole for killing a person, but no parole board in the land will free an antique grandfather clock killer.

We went to a hotel and then on to Disney World, which was a lot quieter than my Aunt's antique grandfather clock. My Aunt is still alive. I live in fear that she will bequeath the antique grandfather clock to me in her will.